The Reclusive Writer
I doubt that there is any one who is still reading this due to my long absence, and maybe the content or ability of this writer. However I have not forgotten this blog, but have resigned myself to the fact that in the scheme of Christian life and fatherhood, there are other responsibilities that must come first.
One of the thoughts that have been going around my head is this; There is such a strong connection between the image we have of our earthly father, and the way we see God. I have often seen this in other people but only recently come to realize what I leaving to my children.
Take for instance the woman who had a very angry father and rarely, if ever, heard praise or expressions of love from him. She is very prone to see God in the same light and finds it hard to reconcile the God that she reads in the Bible, who loves her and cares for her personally, when the only earthly example she has is giving her a drastically different picture! This is just one case in point but you get my drift. The children of a loving, adoring father, have a hard time coming to grips with the unswerving justice and judgment of God, etc.
My questions that keep running through my head are these. Why would God choose such failing creatures to imprint a picture of Him onto the soft impressionable hearts and minds of our children? You heard the old adage, “Children never really grow up, until they become parents. Then their children ‘raise’ them.” I have made so many blunders already that I wonder if I will ever be able to show them more accurately who their Father REALLY is!! It really can put the weight on you to make sure that you always walk straight and true to God’s truth! Just this afternoon, I found my eldest son again emulating one of my baser struggles. When he did not get his brother to comply with his wishes by asking in a normal volume of voice, he ratcheted it up a notch and used a tone that stated loud and clear that he was not going to be trifled with in this issue! I reprimanded him for it but found myself realizing afresh that my children are learning daily, that which I do not seek to teach!
The second question is this, since I have and earthly and imperfect father, how do I overcome the somewhat skewed picture I have of God? I have read the Bible for many years and have found the Lord to be most precious on many fronts, but I still keep coming back to that same tinted glass view of what I think God is! I seem unable to see Him from the “other” perspective, or if I do catch a glimpse, it is always secondary to my original view! Is this the way that God wants it to be? Is this the heritage I am destined to leave my children?
I so long to see God for who He really and truly is and to then do my best to exemplify Him to my children. And if I find what God shows me to be a “better” way, how do I implement that without hurting my earthly father or thinking less of him for his humanness?
Truly the weight of fatherhood is not to be taken lightly, but it pains me so to see the imperfect shadow that I am leaving behind and that they will have to walk in! Oh God, help me walk true!!
I appreciate your thoughts on this. I know I was emotionally impacted very deeply by my image of my father from very young, and yet, I long to know God in a way I never knew nor trusted my own father. The missing parts of the picture of the Heavenly Father that my earthy father did not show me are what I long to have God Himself minister to my deep emotional understanding, and imprint upon my heart, so that I can fully trust and adore Him from my heart and emotions, even in the most difficult pain.
Even though our fathers do have a great effect on our image of God as a Father, and ALL of us need a clearer picture of Him as He really is, He allows this limited understanding, and sets us in need of searching for it, and now each of us, whether male and female, has the opportunity to be a little taste of Christ to others in our journey. He places part of His Spirit in us with a certain gift for the body, to minister Jesus to each other.
None of us is all of Christ to others, in all His many characteristics, and none of us represents Him perfectly or fully. We cannot meet all the needs we each have for God. As a result, we all experience the pain of unfulfilled longings, or of the imperfections of others that cost us something, and we are left with the choice to run to Him for daily comfort and insight or else struggle within our own limitations. People do not tend to run easily to a Father they have never known to comfort or heal them, even when they have heard from others that God is such a Father, until they get enough tastes of Him to form this habit.
When we see someone hurting for whatever reason, we may best help them, I think, by giving them a taste of Jesus as the Healer and Comforter in Whom they will find their deepest delight and fulfillment. It is to be a TASTE designed to draw their heart toward HIM. A taste that makes them want more of HIM.
Since we may only be a TASTE, though, the idea is to share the taste as a servant directing the person to the Master, giving Him the glory for what little of Himself He equipped us to minister. I need to learn this ministry of compassion by going through the pain He allows in my own life until all other sources of comfort are purged out, and I am fully focused on His Comfort, which I must learn to receive by faith, which I may then minister to others. While I may wish I could take away all pain and minister all comfort, God knows how much pain we each need to perfect us.
I want to keep my mouth very quiet about what He is doing in another who hurts, and stand by, ready to be an instrument of compassion and understanding, ready to offer a taste of Jesus by how I respond. I have done my share of hurting others.
In the church, I feel compassion for the leaders and the pastors, because I know they have the same struggle as you do, with the burden to represent God the Father accurately, because they in their leadership roles represent that same sort of role as a father, and when people have struggled in their relationship with their own father, they will struggle with the leadership in a similar way. I think it is my place, and the place of the brethren, to represent Jesus the Lover and Healer, and let Him do the painful work that needs to be done, unless we are very clear on what He gives us to do other than that. Because, it is the LOVE that draws people to Him. We love Him when we have first known His love for us, which He may minister to us through His people.
Once Jesus has our heart and our trust, we are apt to return His love by entering into the work that is painful, and He can use us when we are willing to share in His painful work. I appreciate your desire to represent Him accurately to your children. That encourages me.
2 Corinthians 1:4
He comforts us when we are in trouble, so that we can share that same comfort with others in trouble.
March 26th, 2007 | #
I love your transparency and your deep, deep thoughts. You remind me so much of Anthony (must be something about being born in Sept. 1976!) I have often said that having my dad for an earthly father has made it easy for me to feel loved and cherished by my heavenly Father. He was strict, but his very evident loving compassion for us was his most lasting impact on us children. Blessings on you, Japheth.
March 29th, 2007 | #
I had a great father…not a perfect one.
I have never met a perfect father, except, of course, God the Father.
I certainly was not a perfect one…even when I tried.
I learned to stop worrying about it and tried to do what I thought was right at the time.
Guess what! My children are not perfect parents either.
April 21st, 2007 | #