The Reclusive Writer
I doubt that there is any one who is still reading this due to my long absence, and maybe the content or ability of this writer. However I have not forgotten this blog, but have resigned myself to the fact that in the scheme of Christian life and fatherhood, there are other responsibilities that must come first.
One of the thoughts that have been going around my head is this; There is such a strong connection between the image we have of our earthly father, and the way we see God. I have often seen this in other people but only recently come to realize what I leaving to my children.
Take for instance the woman who had a very angry father and rarely, if ever, heard praise or expressions of love from him. She is very prone to see God in the same light and finds it hard to reconcile the God that she reads in the Bible, who loves her and cares for her personally, when the only earthly example she has is giving her a drastically different picture! This is just one case in point but you get my drift. The children of a loving, adoring father, have a hard time coming to grips with the unswerving justice and judgment of God, etc.
My questions that keep running through my head are these. Why would God choose such failing creatures to imprint a picture of Him onto the soft impressionable hearts and minds of our children? You heard the old adage, “Children never really grow up, until they become parents. Then their children ‘raise’ them.” I have made so many blunders already that I wonder if I will ever be able to show them more accurately who their Father REALLY is!! It really can put the weight on you to make sure that you always walk straight and true to God’s truth! Just this afternoon, I found my eldest son again emulating one of my baser struggles. When he did not get his brother to comply with his wishes by asking in a normal volume of voice, he ratcheted it up a notch and used a tone that stated loud and clear that he was not going to be trifled with in this issue! I reprimanded him for it but found myself realizing afresh that my children are learning daily, that which I do not seek to teach!
The second question is this, since I have and earthly and imperfect father, how do I overcome the somewhat skewed picture I have of God? I have read the Bible for many years and have found the Lord to be most precious on many fronts, but I still keep coming back to that same tinted glass view of what I think God is! I seem unable to see Him from the “other” perspective, or if I do catch a glimpse, it is always secondary to my original view! Is this the way that God wants it to be? Is this the heritage I am destined to leave my children?
I so long to see God for who He really and truly is and to then do my best to exemplify Him to my children. And if I find what God shows me to be a “better” way, how do I implement that without hurting my earthly father or thinking less of him for his humanness?
Truly the weight of fatherhood is not to be taken lightly, but it pains me so to see the imperfect shadow that I am leaving behind and that they will have to walk in! Oh God, help me walk true!!
